writing

On Writing

All my life, I have considered myself a writer. I’m not really sure exactly where this thought came from initially, perhaps the love of classic literature instilled in me by early teachers, or maybe it was my family modeling reading for me and me thinking if I was a writer I’d get more of their attention. I went on to get both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in English, not really to be a professional author, but more because I loved the writing requirements of those programs.

As an adult, I’ve kept a regular journal most of my life and many years ago started this blog as a way to practice writing that would be published in some small way. I’ve been inconsistent with the blog, kept up pretty good with the journaling, and even got a couple of novels started on the laptop. But until last year, I’d never truly gotten serious about trying to publish something in print that I’d written.

Through a series of interesting events related to an expansion of our Children’s Garden at Daniel Stowe Conservancy, where I am the CEO, a story presented itself that needed to be written. Part of the new garden was a “secret room” where kids could explore and free play outside in our woods. Our designer created a concrete dragon spine emerging from the ground around the edge of the room as a part of the “secret.” But on opening weekend, when a mother visiting with her children asked me what the story was with the dragon, I had no answer. It seemed like a story that needed to be told and I thought I was the best man for the job.

Setting off to write the story of our new dragon seemed easy enough, but over the next few months I struggled to connect the story to our organization and the nature preserve we protect alongside the botanical gardens we feature. The nature of the story felt like a children’s book, so I reached out to an artist I knew who had illustrated children’s books, Brett Blumenthal, to ask if she’d be willing to illustrate it for me. She accepted and also helped me understand the value of an editor, internal feedback, and other readers. What I thought would be a simple project turned into months of working and reworking copy, feedback on illustrations and fonts, and more decisions about paper and materials than I had ever imagined!

The result, The Guardian of Lost Hollow, was published this spring and has been a big hit with our visitors and donors. It chronicles the fictitious origin story of the Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens and Willow the Dragon who protects them. The image above is Brett and I at our book signing party, which was great fun to share our book with others for the first time.

I never thought my first published book would be an illustrated children’s book, but I’m glad it was. It felt like the right place to start and it has re-energized me to write again. I’ve been much more committed to my journal this year and I’m finally getting back here to the blog to explore publishing my feelings, thoughts, desires, and hopes for the world. I’m still the morning run guy who started this blog over a decade ago, but life has changed a lot and I’m eager to explore it through writing again. Who knows, maybe it will spurn me to dust off one of those novels sitting on the desktop and see if I can make a long form book work. Regardless of where it leads, I’m excited to again reap the personal and emotional benefits of writing.

It was an unlikely place to learn one of the most valuable lessons in life. You’d expect an ‘a-ha’ moment for a teenage writer to come from an inspiring English teacher or from reading a book of Emerson poetry for the first time, or something like that. And, while I had some great clinicians for English teachers (Neuleib and Kelly), it was in my AP U.S. History class that Ms. Scott taught me that writing helps. She forced me to write about history in a way that EXPLAINED it, not just recounted it, and in those exercises I learned the value of using writing to explain things. You see, when you write to explain your thoughts and feelings, your mind is forced to process and organize those thoughts and feelings into understandable sentences. The result is that writing helps us understand ourselves, process our feelings, and express those feelings to others in ways that speaking cannot because of the filter of our hands on the pen or fingers on the keyboard.

So, I return to the task that Ms. Scott often assigned now as an adult, particularly when I’ve got something swirling around in my mind that needs some translation to make any sense. While I still love to read about Sherman’s March to the Sea and Roosevelt’s New Deal, those topics don’t find their way into my creative writing these days. However, when I was writing about those things I was forced to study the facts, examine the commentary, and develop my own thoughts about the how and why of some of history’s most important moments. I try to apply the same exercise to my writing now – I am usually stirred by facts (something I read, hear, or discuss with a friend usually), I examine the commentary (often inside my own head), and I try to develop my own thoughts about the implications of what is going on.

You see, I’ve been in a bit of a ‘funk’ lately. Nothing serious, just not the best me, not the me I want to be. Unlike my writing hero, Edward Abbey (pictured above), I’m not intending to set off to blow up a dam out of angst; although if you are thinking about that you should watch Damnation on Netflix and you’ll definitely want to. I digress…

So, I review the facts: I’ve had 3 straight weeks of heavy travel (like multiple flights, coast to coast, red-eye heavy travel), I’ve been out of my consistent running pattern (only 1-2 days a week the last few weeks), I’m eating like crap (on my last business trip I had back to back nights of 10p wings and beer at the hotel bar because of that crappy travel schedule), and I haven’t written anything since October 30. I examine the commentary in my head – “Wow, looks like you’re putting on some weight this morning in the mirror,” “Gee, I’m awfully tired this morning, I think I’ll sleep another 45 minutes since my client meeting isn’t until 10a today,” “It’s been a long trip, you deserve some ‘comfort food’ before bed tonight.”

Now it’s time to develop my own thoughts into something meaningful on this page. Travel is a natural part of my job, it us unavoidable, so there is no sense in taking a negative view of the necessity of some tough trips. The real thing that is going to get me out of this ‘funk’ isn’t less travel, it is a change in discipline and attitude. If I look at times I’ve felt great about myself and the world, I was actually traveling quite a bit then. Travel inspires and energizes me, it is fun for me to explore new places and meet new people. The difference is my approach to that travel and how I spend my hours on the road needs a re-start. When I leave enough room in my travel schedule to enjoy a city, sit down for a decent meal at a decent hour, and make it a priority to get out of bed for my morning run, my whole attitude and experience changes.

In my old high school ‘blue books’ where Ms. Scott made us write our history essays, she always made us leave margins so that we had room for notes and additions if we needed them. I think the same applies here – I need to get back to leaving some margins in my days; time to think, time to read, time to explore, and time to write. Because writing helps.