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Airport Mindfulness

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How many airports have you been in like this? Me neither.

Most of the airports that I spend my considerable time in look a lot more like this…

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which got me thinking today about mindfulness at the airport, probably the LEAST mindful place on earth. 

Mindfulness is defined as:

mind·ful·ness
ˈmīndfəlnəs/ – a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
 
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it can sometimes be to focus one’s awareness on the present moment while accepting your feelings at the airport. Nearly every week I see dozens, if not hundreds, of people completely lose their minds over things at the airport that they not only have no control over, but that really have no bearing or impact on the present moment. I know how it feels, I used to be one of those people flying off the handle at airline employees because I was running late and the plane was running on time or staring down a flight attendant who refused to do something about the screaming kid in 10B right behind me!
 
No more. Part of the growth of my own mindfulness has been most tested and best utilized in the airport. What I have CHOSEN to do (and I emphasize the choice part because it is just that), is take the approach that you see on my daughter’s face in the top picture – “go with the flow, wherever that might take me.” I now recognize when my body starts to tense up because there is a non-stop talking 5 year old sitting next to me (as there was this morning on CLT-Boston) and I intentionally RELAX and remind myself that my own 5 year old daughter would be chattering on non-stop out of excitement and imagine how I would want someone treating her in the same situation. Instead of getting off the plane this morning angry, anxious, and annoyed I followed my young seatmate off the plane with a smile on my face thinking about my Josie and how much pure joy she has in her life.
 
I’ll likely never fix this problem – 824,000,000 people boarded planes in the United States last year! I will however, continue to exercise my own mindfulness in airports. At the very least I figure if I can do it in the midst of 823,999,999 other crazy nut jobs I should be able find a way to be mindful under my own roof with the 3 nut jobs that I share a house with every day!!! Maybe we should pray for them, not me?!?!
 

The Compulsion to “DO”

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Applying mindfulness to the thinking mind is incredibly revealing.  It allows me to observe my mind’s constant compulsion to “do,” to squeeze another activity into this moment, often without regard to whether or not the present moment actually calls for it.  This impulse will feed on just about anything, most often my cell phone or something electronic.  It would have me watching television with an iPad on my lap while I shove food into my mouth, oblivious to the presence of my children except for brief moments of chastisement for being too loud.  It seems as if its purpose is to maintain control and keep me on autopilot – unconscious and numb.

I’ve learned to observe this impulse and to question it.  Not ignore it, mistrust it.  Choosing simplicity helps me accomplish this.  Intentionally doing one thing at a time helps ensure that I’m actually here for it.  By doing this, I find that I am available and present for things that truly matter, and that my attending to these things is much more effective and appropriate.  In his book Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn explains the concept of voluntary simplicity:

“Voluntary simplicity means going fewer places in one day rather than more, seeing less so I can see more, doing less so I can do more, acquiring less so I can have more.  It all ties in.  It’s not a real option for me as a father of young children, a breadwinner, a husband, an oldest son to my parents, a person who cares deeply about his work to go off to Walden Pond or another and sit under a tree for a few years, listening to the grass grow and the seasons change, much as the impulse beckons at times.  But within the organized chaos and complexity of family life and work, with all their demands and responsibilities, frustrations and unsurpassed gifts, there is ample opportunity for choosing simplicity in small ways.”

Practicing voluntary simplicity is extremely difficult to do in a Western society where achievement, financial gain and productivity are constantly celebrated and rewarded.  These ideals are worthy of celebration, but are also fraught with problems and dysfunction unless they are tempered with awareness and simplicity. Even activities and results that are “good,” are not fulfilling or ultimately rewarding unless they come from a place of mental stillness; a place that acknowledges what the present moment calls for and is void of self-interest and ego.

What happens now affects what happens next.  So, doesn’t it make sense to take a look around and pay more attention to what is happening right now?  I’ve found that practicing mindfulness and voluntary simplicity helps me minimize distractions, cultivate awareness, and mistrust the compulsion to do.  And the paradox of it all is that by mistrusting the compulsion to do, I get more done.

by Dr. Jason Pittser, friend and fellow Zen seeker

Underrated Cities

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In July I spent some time in (and took runs in) a couple of cities that I hadn’t much more than passed through before – Kansas City and Sacramento. As I was looping around the California state capital building above it dawned on me how some cities are just ‘underrated.’

My own hometown of Charlotte, NC probably falls into the underrated category – a ‘not quite big city’ in the Southeast that doesn’t really have that ONE THING that it is known for around the world. Yeah, we’ve got the Panthers and Bank of America, but no one really knows the truly great things about Charlotte until they come for a visit and ask a resident where they should go? Depending on who you ask, you’ll get a variety, but there’s a good chance they’ll tell you to eat in Dilworth, NoDa or Plaza Midwood; spend a day at Lake Norman, catch a baseball game at BB&T Park, or hit the Mint Museum if that’s your style. Or they might send you to my personal favorite – a day at the US National Whitewater Center for rafting, mountain biking, rock climbing, zip lining, good food, great beer, and live music. We always exceed expectations!

Kansas City and Sacramento are much the same in that regards. I found great food in both towns – Hock Farm Craft and Provisions in SacTown, and Anton’s Taproom in KC. Both had interesting historical features – The National World War 1 Museum is in Kansas City (picture above is taken from the museum looking back at the city), and Sacramento is the oldest incorporated city in California and has been the state capital since just after it was granted statehood. The people in both of these cities were fantastic to me and I think they are truly underrated.

So, is there a lesson in all of this? Maybe not, but then again, maybe their is…if you keep an open mind and dig around a little bit, there is something special and unique about just about everywhere. People in mid-sized cities like Charlotte, Kansas City, and Sacramento always seem to be trying to keep a secret (their city is really pretty great) because they don’t want too many more people to know about it, lest it change them. I’m all for exploring every city to find the very best it has to offer right under its underrated surface.

Identity

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CharlotteReign17

I am a Christian. I am a husband. I am a father. I am a son and brother. I am a salesman. I am a coach. I am a runner. I am a reader and a writer. I am a traveler and an explorer. I am a friend.

So if I am all of those things above, what is my identity?

The past two weekends, I coached a high school AAU basketball team at a couple of tournaments where college basketball coaches come and watch young men play to determine whether or not they want to offer them a scholarship or spot on their basketball team. As I looked around at all of the coaches, players, parents, college coaches, and fans with their various team logos on their chests, it got me thinking about identity and how we define our identity.

It is the dream of nearly every boy on our team to play college basketball, and it is also the dream of everyone we play against. They identify themselves as basketball players and are identified by the name of the team they play with in the summer and the number on their jersey. Their emotions rise and fall on how well they play each game and whether or not they play in front of enough college coaches, not necessarily whether we win or lose. Last weekend, we played well, won and took the picture above. This weekend, we played average and went home on Saturday. Their parents, too, allow their identity to be controlled by the success of their sons, thinking that if their son can just get a college basketball scholarship it will validate them as a parent.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was sitting on the other side of the court with those college coaches, wearing my school logo on my chest and watching game after game of AAU basketball in the summer. Being a college basketball coach became my identity, it consumed me and was the only way I could define myself. I have a lot of friends still in the business who have let it become their identity and I saw several of them the past two weekends. It has destroyed marriages, distanced them from their children, and forced some great guys to become very one dimensional. I talk to them now and there doesn’t seem to be much to talk about beyond the surface basketball chatter. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to get out of college coaching and define my own identity.

So what is identity? For me, now, it is realized only by a blending of the things that are important to me and the way I spend my time. I enjoy my work, but it doesn’t define who I am, it feeds the identity that I now create. I love my kids, but their successes and failures do not define me as a person, they only express some of my own strengths and weaknesses. The things I enjoy doing in my free time: running, hiking, biking, reading, and writing are great outlets for me but I try not to let my pursuit of those passions become all consuming. And my marriage is the most important thing to me on this earth, but it is there as a support and reinforcement to the identities of my wife and I, not the definition of our identities.

My identity lies only in who I am right now, not by what I’ve done in the past or what I’ll do in the future. It is a reflection of who I am this moment – am I loving and caring for others; am I modeling Christ in my life today; am I working hard at the work put before me and doing it to the best of my ability; am I enjoying the moments that I have with friends and family; am I creating things that add value to people’s lives? My identity can no longer be boiled down to a logo on my chest, it is only now the outward actions of the desires of my heart. That is who I am.

Trail Run at USNWC

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If you live in or travel to Charlotte, NC I would strongly encourage you to enjoy a trail run at the US National Whitewater Center (www.usnwc.org). On a Saturday afternoon, the Whitewater Center is a party – rafting, ziplining, rock climbing, mountain biking, beer, live music, food carts, and tons of people watching…it is a lot of fun. But if it is peace, quiet, and solitude you are looking for there aren’t much better places than 6am on a Wednesday at the Whitewater Center!

If it is your first time, I’d recommend the Lake Loop, a relatively easy 3 mile jog in the woods around a couple of small ponds. Make sure you finish the loop and run all the way to the whitewater channel to see the sun coming up near the water (see above). It is unlikely you’ll encounter many folks at USNWC at that time of morning and this morning I was all by myself with the exception of a few frogs, a turtle, and some birds. It was one of the most enjoyable runs I’ve had in awhile and it reminded me that I need to make time for those types of runs more often.

If you’ve never done a trail run, but you are a runner, I would strongly encourage you to try the trail. When you run on the trail you need to slow down (your pace will likely be one and a half to two minutes slower per mile), shorten your stride (so that you can ensure you don’t slip, fall, or trip on the things in your way), and pay attention (unlike the sometime mindless run on pavement, you need to watch where you put your feet down and focus on the twists and turns of the trail). Trail running is a great way to cross train both your legs and your mind because it works different muscles as you aren’t going to land the same on any two steps (be sure to stretch hips and ankles especially before and after); it also requires a concentration that forces you to focus on what you are doing in a way that will really help you relax when you get back to the road.

I don’t trail run as much as I’d like now, but every time I do I wish I did it more. There’s nothing like a run in the woods to clear your mind and start your day right. Today was a great start at the USNWC.

Zen and Christianity

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Contributed by Dr. Jason Pittser, good friend and fellow Christian man working on his Zen.

I’ve had many people ask me about the conflict they see with Zen and Christianity, or how Zen ties into Christianity. For many Christians, it can be a frustrating task trying to reconcile Zen insights with Christian doctrine. Maybe the best way to present Zen is to do so without comment; which is really the only way to talk about it.

From Zen and the Birds of Appetite by Thomas Merton:

The truth of the matter is, you can hardly set Christianity and Zen side by side and compare them. This would almost be like trying to compare mathematics and tennis. And if you are writing a book on tennis which might conceivably be read by many mathematicians, there is little point in bringing mathematics into the discussion – best to stick with tennis.

Now the reader with a Judeo-Christian background of some sort (and who in the West does not still have some such background?) will naturally be predisposed to misinterpret Zen because he will take up the position of one who is confronting a “rival system of thought” or a “competing ideology” or more simply a “false religion.” Anyone who adopts such a position makes it impossible for himself to see what Zen is, because he assumes in advance that Zen is something that it expressly refuses to be. Zen is not a systematic explanation of life, it is not an ideology, it is not a world view, not a theology of revelation and salvation…in fact, it fits no convenient category of ours. The chief characteristic of Zen is that it rejects all these systematic elaborations in order to get back, as far as possible, to the pure unarticulated and unexplained ground of direct experience. The direct experience of what? Life itself. What it means that I live: who is this “I” that exists and lives? What is the difference between an authentic and an illusory awareness of the self that exists and lives? What are and are not the basic facts of existence?

When we in the West speak of “basic facts of existence” we tend immediately to conceive these facts as reducible to certain austere and foolproof propositions – logical statements that are guaranteed to have meaning because they are empirically verifiable. These are what Bertrand Russell called “atomic facts.” Now for Zen it is inconceivable that the basic facts of existence should be able to be stated in any proposition however atomic. For Zen, from the moment fact is transferred to a statement it is falsified. One ceases to grasp the naked reality of experience and one grasps a form of words instead. The whole aim of Zen is not to make foolproof statements about experience, but to come to direct grips with reality without the mediation of logical verbalizing.

Mindfulness meditation seeks not to explain, but to pay attention, to become aware, to be mindful, in other words to develop a certain kind of consciousness that is above and beyond deception by verbal formulas – or by emotional excitement. Deception in what? Deception in its grasp of itself as it really is. Deception due to diversion and distraction from what is right there – consciousness itself.

In understanding Zen, it would be a great mistake to concentrate on “doctrine,” the formulated philosophy of life, and to neglect the experience, which is absolutely essential, the very heart of Zen. This is in a sense the exact opposite of the situation in Christianity. For Christianity begins with revelation. Though it would be misleading to classify this revelation simply as a “doctrine” and an “explanation” (it is far more than that – the revelation of God himself in the mystery of Christ) it is nevertheless communicated to us in words, in statements, and everything depends on the believer’s accepting the truth of these statements.

Therefore, Christianity has always been profoundly concerned with these statements: with the accuracy of their transmission from the original sources, with the precise understanding of their exact meaning, with the elimination and indeed condemnation of false interpretations.

This obsession with doctrinal formulas, juridical order and ritual exactitude has often made people forget that the heart of Christianity too, is a living experience of unity in Christ which far transcends all conceptual formulations. What too often has been overlooked, in consequence, is that Christianity is the taste and experience of eternal life. Too often the Christian has imagined himself obliged to stop short at a mere correct and external belief expressed in good moral behavior, instead of entering fully into the life, hope and love consummated by union with the invisible God “in Christ and in the Spirit,” thus fully sharing the Divine Nature.

Greatest Trail Run Ever

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Last week I was on vacation with my family on the Northern California coast and experienced the Greatest Trail Run of my life. Camping in Humbolt Redwoods State Park, our campsite was just 1 mile from the Rockefeller Grove that includes 2 of the largest living trees in the world: Tall Tree and Giant Tree. It is hard for me to even describe what a 650 foot tree that is 45 feet around looks like…they’ve been there for nearly 2,000 years! Not only was it amazing to run in the midst of these giant trees, but the trails were immaculately maintained and provided a lot of variety of terrain and elevation.

I haven’t run much on the trails in the last year as I was on the second half of training for my first marathon last summer and fall, but it felt great to be out in the woods again and reminded me of why I started to enjoy running in the first place on the trails. I’m grateful to those who take their time to maintain trails, those who provide the resources to preserve forests and other natural wonders such as the Redwoods, and thankful for a wife and family who enjoy being outdoors as much as I do so that we can share it as a family.

 

Giving Back to Basketball

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The game of basketball has given me an awful lot in my life.

This past weekend, I had a chance to give a little bit back and I’m so glad I did. From Thursday to Sunday I was the Camp Director of the Jay Bilas Skills Camp on the campus of Queens University in Charlotte, NC. Jay and I have gotten to know each other over the past couple of years and decided that we wanted to put together an “old school” basketball skills camp that would provide sound basketball teaching from experienced coaches and competitive environments that maintained the values of the game that we had been taught as young men learning how to play. 

On Sunday, as parents were checking out their very tired boys, we heard a lot of great comments about much the guys enjoyed the camp, what they learned, how hard they worked, and how it improved their game on and off the court. For all of our coaches, it was an exhausting camp: they taught stations in the morning, ran competitions all afternoon, and coached 5-on-5 teams every evening before being rewarded by sleeping on a hard dorm mattress! Jay and I got to talking about why these very experienced coaches would do this and I think it is pretty simple…if they are anything like me, they want to give back to the game that has given them so much.

It could probably be argued that nearly everything of value that has happened to me in life has somehow been a result of the game of basketball. As a young man in junior high and high school, the game provided the start of my identity, giving me something to be proud of myself for because I was good at it. It was in the 5th grade when I played on my first school team that I first learned the value of teamwork and the importance of everyone understanding and playing their role. The game of basketball was the first thing that my dad and I really connected over, and it is still an important bond between us 30 years later.

In high school I learned how to really compete for the first time through basketball and the game helped pay for my college education. When I got to college, the game of basketball started to teach me what hard work REALLY was and how hard I was going to have to work to be a champion. During those same college years, basketball brought me teammates who became my best friends, and who 20 years later are the most important men in my life.

After I hung up my jersey for the last time, the game continued to give to me. Basketball provided me a living for 10 years as I coached the game full time at the high school, NCAA Division 3, Division 2, and Division 1 levels. At one of my first stops on that coaching adventure, basketball introduced me to my wife, who was also working in the athletic department and 13 years later, the game is still one of the things we enjoy watching together. During my coaching career, basketball taught me how to sacrifice for something I was passionate about, how to treat people in a professional setting, the importance of relationships to careers, and the reality of life that sometimes you get fired and have to get back up and try again.

It’s been over 6 years since I blew a whistle for a living, but the game has continued to give to me. It has given me the pleasure of watching a great game in person or on tv, it has given me open doors of opportunity in the business world because of relationships within the game, and it has continued to give me the opportunity to teach the game to young people even though I’m not doing it for a living anymore. At this stage in my life, the game has taught me that you can never stop learning new things and the value of giving people an honest evaluation even if they don’t want to hear it.

I’m not pleased with everything about the game of basketball in 2014. It is a different game than when I grew up with different influencers, different expectations, and different motivations for many involved. I don’t like the way AAU basketball has morphed into a big business that has created an environment where it is hard for kids to remember that it is still just a game. I wish players wanted to work on their skills without any prizes or coaches or referees, but that seems to be slipping away. I can’t fix the entire game of basketball, but I can influence the very small corner of the game that I have been given to look after. The game has given me so much that the least I can do is give back to the game in any way I can in that small corner of the basketball world. It is a great game that has made me who I am today.

Even Gophers Have Interesting Architecture

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Some of my favorite places to run on my travels are college campuses. The cool thing about college campuses is that they’re all a little bit different and almost all of them have interesting architecture…even the Minnesota Golden Gophers!

The University of Minnesota campus is divided by a river. On one side is the “West Bank” which houses the original campus and the other side is the “East Bank” with some of the newer colleges. I stayed on the East Bank, so after a short jog around that side, I crossed the pedestrian bridge (which was enclosed by the way for the winter treks I assume), and was greeted on the other side by this:

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The Frederick Weisman Art Museum is quite a spectacular building. It is made even more stunning as the sun comes up and strikes its many varying angles of metal exterior. I have to admit, I was surprised to see this in good old Midwestern Minneapolis. But that is what is so fun about a run on a college campus – you never know what you’re going to come across! I’ve got meetings on campus today and you can rest assured I’m going to keep my eyes out for more great buildings. It is truly amazing how enriched your life can be by beauty if you just slow down and look around.

Hometown Appreciation

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I love to travel and fortunately, I get the opportunity to travel quite a bit. However, today I’m thinking about some Hometown Appreciation.

I live in the Lake Norman area of Charlotte. Lake Norman is made up of the four small communities of Huntersville, Cornelius, Davidson, and Mooresville. It is a literal ‘vacation spot’ 18 miles from downtown Charlotte on the state’s largest lake. It is a great place to live and raise a family.

This morning, I got a 5 mile run in on a portion of the Carolina Thread Trail that runs through Davidson about 4 miles from my house. It was a beautiful day for a run and there were quite a few people on the trail for a Friday morning. Today while I ran I didn’t think about anything deep or profound, just tried to dwell on the things I have to be thankful for…and they are many. 

Along with my appreciation for where I live, and the obvious thankfulness I have for my family, I am grateful to work for a company that gives me a generous amount of Paid Time Off so I can take a Friday like today and enjoy a very long holiday weekend; I’m thankful for friends who remind me that the path I have chosen and the quietness that I seek are in themselves ‘where it is at’ and not some means to other things; and I’m glad to have a creative mind that seeks ways to express itself in various parts of my personal and professional life.

So, today, and this weekend, I’m going to savor a little Hometown Appreciation – I’m going to do a little local grocery shopping and bike to get my haircut, I’m grilling out for the extended family tonight while the kids play in the neighborhood, and we’re going to WALK over to a new restaurant on the lake tomorrow after a few hours at the neighborhood pool. Happy Memorial Day weekend! I’m grateful for my father-in-law and all of or veterans who have fought to give us the freedom to live this life in our hometowns.